addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He better not be in your backpack
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
