Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
