So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
