you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
