just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
