Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
