Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
someone owes me an orgasm
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
