thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
