I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
