dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I will be naked everywhere
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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