The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
