Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
