You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
