so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Found the puke drawer
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
