Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
