I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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