so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize