Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
