Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
