There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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