Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
