he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
