Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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