East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize