It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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