K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
