I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize