okay pat passed out under dana's car
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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