He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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