Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
