More tranny stories later!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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