When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
