Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
