So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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