I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I smell stomach acid.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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