everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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