what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
