I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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