Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
