why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
