I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
