How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
