She's JV to your varsity
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
