It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
