then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize