I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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