I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He kissed a someone with a penis
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
