sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
