No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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