if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
