so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
