is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
