It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
