I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
