his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
