just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
