he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
