He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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