This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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