im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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