I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
