Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
