it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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